His Wife’s Cheating Affected His Sexual Functioning

She cheated on him, and from that moment on, his penis stopped functioning.

"My wife cheated on me. Two years ago, I started to feel that something was different about her, that she was behaving differently, and I suspected that she was cheating on me. I asked her, we talked about it, and she immediately denied it."

This is how A. (details are kept confidential) shared his story with me the one time he came to my clinic.

"I followed my intuition and didn’t give up. I thought of different ways to find out if it was true, and then one day she left her phone unattended. She always took it with her everywhere, and suddenly it was there, exposed right in front of me. I went over to the phone and opened it. I started scrolling through her WhatsApp messages, and then I came across it."

He began breathing a little more heavily, with a slight sweat appearing on his forehead.

They say there are three major blows a person can experience – death, illness, and divorce. Infidelity is one of the grounds for divorce. Anyone who has caught their partner cheating remembers the moment of discovery. They remember what it did to their body, and some people even describe it this way:

"It felt like a lump was stuck in my throat."

"It was a severe pain in my stomach.”

“I felt as if someone had punched me in the face."

"I suddenly felt like I was going to throw up."

"I was hit with an enormous headache within seconds."

"There was this ringing in my ear, and afterward I couldn’t hear anything."

And more.

Some claim that this is an actual trauma. A. experienced it himself, and although it happened two years ago, he remembers the moment as if it happened just now.

"Listen, this whole thing isn’t easy for me. It’s just that two years have passed, and I’m extremely frustrated."

"Let’s go back for a moment to the moment when you saw the message."

As a diagnostician, it is very important to me to pay attention to the details and make sure I accurately identify the root that needs to be cleared. Therefore, even though it was less comfortable in that moment, I knew that recreating the moment of discovery would bring him toward healing.

"I saw her correspondence with another man. From what I saw, I understood that she was having sex with him."

He lowered his gaze.

"A., it is important for me to know how you felt in that second when you realized it – when you realized that she was cheating on you."

"Wow. It was like an arrow, like a blow."

That was it. That was what I needed. He continued telling me that he showed her what he had found, confronted her, and accused her, but I already knew what I needed to do in the treatment. It was enough for me to understand how he felt in that critical second. And that feeling, which caused him to feel castrated – I would clear it and change it.

That very second that burned the feeling into his body is referred to in “Meta Medicine” as a UDIN.

It is an event that leaves its mark and determines the course of a person’s life.

U – Unexpected

D – Dramatic

I – Isolating

N – No strategy

In other words, this experience, this second, the discovery, the shock – causes a person to experience something unexpected, dramatic, isolating, and for which there is no strategy or plan in that very moment. The body enters an emergency state, and all systems mobilize to deal with the situation. UDIN is the foundation of every illness, and in this case – of the sexual functioning problem.

“You have to help me. I really need to solve this already. Ever since I confronted her, I left the house, we started divorce proceedings, and I started dating women. The thing is, during sex everything is fine until the moment I penetrate. When I’m about to penetrate – within a second, my penis goes soft. It goes soft! And that’s it! It doesn’t respond anymore, no matter what we do.”

I took him on a journey into his subconscious mind, to that same event, that same specific moment when he opened the phone, checked her messages, and discovered what had happened. He recreated the event. I allowed him to feel what was happening there, the sensations that arose and surfaced. We did a cleansing process, and I created a process in which I restored his confidence.

At the end of the process, I asked him not to have any contact with a woman, not to masturbate, and to allow the experience to integrate over the next 48 hours.

After 48 hours, I contacted him. He told me that he was feeling fine and that he had followed my request not to have any contact. I asked him to share with me how things went after his next intimate encounter.

The response came quickly, and it was extremely moving.

He wrote to me that he had met with a female friend and was thrilled because everything was functioning properly and he was back to normal. You could feel the joy that had overwhelmed him through his writing.

His erection returned, his confidence returned, and his sense of masculinity was restored.

Here is his first response –

“Hi Shlomit,

Everything is more than fine with me, and thank you so much. I was intimate with a female friend from the past, and it was wonderful! I finally feel like myself again. Thank you, thank you, and thank you again ❤️ It was amazing. Even I couldn’t believe it, but it happened. Apparently, I had a psychological block that you managed to release.

Many thanks.”

Here is his response after 4 months –

“Hi Shlomit 🌹

Today, at this point in time, after the magical treatment you gave me about 4 months ago, I feel the need to share with you the experiences that are overwhelming me and to say thank you once again from the bottom of my ❤️. I am finally… in a new relationship for about two months, in which the intimacy… (and once again, thank you) is at its peak. I have returned to being the alpha male I used to be.

And I can even easily say thank you – I have found the love of my life…!!!

You are doing sacred work… and for that, you deserve sincere appreciation and gratitude.”

Here is his response several months later –

“Dear Shlomit,

I came with some concerns into the unknown. I didn’t know what to expect. Something inside me told me to go ahead and do it. From the very first moment, you spoke to me on the phone in a direct, clear, and unequivocal way. That gave me the confidence to come to you and choose the treatment that was right for me from the range of options you offered. I felt that I had made a very good choice. For me, it was perfect. Even now, I still feel that wonderful feeling. You deserve all the praise for the caring, dedicated, and very attentive treatment you provided, and of course for your precision in every detail, no matter how small. The information was correct and precise.

Thank you for our first meeting, and definitely not our last.”

Shlomit Wolfin